Midnight Memories

I cannot believe that I will be in Orlando, Florida next month and let me tell you how excited I am to actually go. I am going to be honest with you guys, I am quite bummed because every University here in Manila moved to August and the school that I go to doesn’t even bother moving the school year to August.

It’s unfair.

Anyway, as I am making this post, I have 33 days to go until I go to America.

I am excited to the point where I have a countdown to my trip.

I am excited because before actually landing in Orlando. I’m actually going to land in New York then Orlando and the fact that I’m actually in New York City. I have never been to New York before and that excites me, even if it’s just in the JFK Airport.

I am very excited because I’ll definitely visit The Harry Potter Theme Park, Disney World and Universal Studios.

I have started to daily vlog and journal since the 1^st of May and it’s quite hard to do but then it makes me feel more excited that it’s almost near. :))

I do have a playlist for the trip and I do know what I’ll have in my carry-on.

I decided to call the post Midnight Memories because I feel like i'm going to be meeting my cousins friends which means I'm probably going to gain friends through them and I am quite excited. I am a big fan of traveling but I never get to do that since my dad is lazy and doesn't like spending money that much. So I'm pretty stuck at home but now that I get to travel without my parents and my brothers makes me more excited. :) 

xxB

Migrating to a new country

It’s an absolute dream of mine to migrate and leave Manila.

If I were to choose a country, I’d probably go to either the UK or America. Right now, I’m not really doing things that I want to do so this is one of the reasons why I really want to travel alone and migrate without any of my family members and I am also going to lose my contact with them as well. I know that I should so they know where I am or how I am doing but I just want to experience things on my own for a change.

I looked up in the Internet on the benefits of migrating alone.

I know that moving to another country is a huge, scary, life-changing leap. Moving to another country alone is even bigger, scarier, and more life changing. You will leave behind everyone you love, and that simple comfort of having friends and family only a short car ride away. You will leave behind everything you’ve grown to know, and begin to grow into new cultures and traditions. In doing all this, you will learn to be truly self reliant and independent.

There are 2 reasons to why I want to migrate on my own: number 1, I want to do things on my own I don't want to depend on my parents on my own and number 2, I want to stay away from my family as far away as possible without any means of contacting them again. I’m still in Manila but as soon as I get a decent internship, after I graduate college and after I get a decent job experience here in Manila I will leave. I won’t take no for answer and my family won’t stop for reaching my dreams.

Like I said, there are benefits to migrating alone and I shall give 5 benefits to it:

1.     You will gain a new perspective

No matter where you move, you can’t escape yourself. However, you certainly can gain new perspective on your life. Seeing new parts of the world forces you to realize just how little of it you actually occupy. Your problems will feel so much smaller in the grand scheme of things. There is so much in this world that is more important than your friend’s betrayal or your ex’s new girlfriend. Every place you travel to will be unbelievably older than America, and this will give you a whole new sense of time. You will realize how young you are, and how much more life lies ahead of you. Let the beauty and histories occupy the places in your mind that were once occupied by petty anger or jealousy. Being alone in an unknown place forces you to a take a step back and reevaluate. When you are partially removed from your life back home you can take a look at everything from the outside, and see things quite differently.

2.     As the great Ellie Goulding so beautifully sang, anything can happen

You have the freedom to make this journey entirely your own. You are in a place where no one knows you or stories of your past. No one here knows that you peed your pants in the cafeteria in 2^nd grade. No one here remembers the unibrow and acne that made a home on your face in middle school. No one here saw you cry too much cookie dough flavored vodka on your 21^st birthday. Embrace that. Recreate yourself. If you always wanted to be more outgoing or more daring or more laid back, this is your opportunity. You’re the author of this new chapter. You can be who you want to be, and do what you want to do. Write your own character, create your own story, and go live it.

3.     You’ll meet amazing people.

When you are travelling along, you tend to converse with locals and other solo travelers more than you would if you were traveling in a group. If you listen, everyone has a story to tell and something important to teach you. If you open your mind and heart to others, you’ll be amazed what you’ll find. You’ll meet some interesting characters who are just making a cameo in the story of your life, and you’ll make lifelong friends with people from all over the world.  You’ll learn what country has the craziest holiday traditions. You’ll share shockingly similar childhood stories. You’ll bond over movie stars and wacky travel stories. As you’re discovering how vast and infinite this world is, you will discover how small it is. It will fascinate you how much you have in common with someone who came from such an entirely different background.

4.     The world will become your teacher

You will learn a lot more about the world while you’re out exploring it than you ever could in a classroom or from a book. You will learn and adopt the traditions of your new country. You will learn how other countries view worldwide historical events. You will learn how other countries view America. You will realize how sheltered and biased your education was. You’ll being to question things you always took for granted. You will be immersed in a whole new world, and it will provide you with a new views and information. The world has a lot to teach you, be open to lessons.

5.     You will become your own best friend

Being alone in an unknown among unknown people will require you to trust yourself, know yourself, challenge yourself, and often, entertain yourself. You will become your own best friend. When you are lost in a city where no one else speaks your language, you learn to rely on yourself, to be confident in yourself, and to be proud of yourself. Every aspect of moving abroad alone will challenge you. it is not for everyone but if you make it through, you’ll make it through with a greater sense of self than you went in with. You will understand who you are, where you came from, and where you fit in with the world. You will learn your capabilities and limits, your strengths and weaknesses. You will make a million memories that are yours and yours alone. It is your life, it’s your move and it’s your journey.

Let no one tell you different.

So I do hope you learn something from this because it’s an absolute dream of mine to leave and actually never come back.

All the love.

xxB

Don't forget where you belong

While I am writing this at a very noisy place aka the caf and I know that I should be at the library to write this all down but here I am about to write down something that I am hoping would change someones life in some way. As I was walking down the stairs on the way here I was thinking about all the things I have done in the past and all of the things that lead up to today.

There are things that I want to change; to see if it changed who I am today but then there are things that I don't want changed because there are tons of memories that are safely tucked somewhere in my head. Sometimes, I just want to step back and have some time to myself and look at the things I have currently done so far.

There are always what ifs in life and if you don't have these kinds of moments at one point in your life then I don't know what this thing I am currently writing would mean to you.

I always wonder to myself if I have done a particular thing differently, would things now be affected by my change in heart? I have always told myself that whatever I have done before is done for a reason.

I sometimes wonder if I chose another school would I be the same person I am now?

I am someone is always waiting for something amazing to happen in life that I'd be proud of to repeat the story to my friends. I call myself socially awkward because I don't have a large group of friends but I do know a lot of people.

This leads me to my High School friends. The reason why I brought them up, it's because I miss them, I haven't talked to them in quite a while and they're the only ones who literally understood me for me. They know what ticks me, I think I just need some girl time with them after 2 years of not actually getting to see them in person.

I have honestly missed them.

The first song that popped into my head is "Don't forget where you belong" by One Direction. Why? Because I feel like right now I am trying to forget where I come from and when I feel like I am missing something I think about High School friends and batchmates.

I know...

I know I'm always free to run home.

All the love. B

Dreams

I recently watched a documentary about Zoe Sugg and her success.

It inspired me to write a post about it and it leads me to the topic of dreams. Every single person in the whole entire dreams, some people have their dreams come true and some don’t.

I am one of these people who haven’t even sorted it out. I tried everything, what I mean by this, I did ballet, piano, guitar, gym and shit… I also tried doing Youtube and then nothing happens at all, you know what I mean?

I have posted so much videos in YouTube, I even did vlogs since majority of the people that watch Zoe and her friends,  like vlogs. So I make vlogs as much as them but still no one watches no matter how many times post/promote my channel.

Seeing how big YouTubers get I feel like I should do it too, since they’ve started just like me. It’s sort of weird that a girl like me, who doesn’t put that much make up on and I don't even know how to put make up on. I started putting but then I put too much and when I do wear make up, the only thing that I put is mascara and lipstick. I’ve watched so much make up tutorials but to no avail I still fail to put make up on.

I don't even put make up to begin with.

I’ve titled this blog post “Dreams” because it's a person to just me but to everyone else around the world. I have tons of dreams but my number one dream is too change the world, I want to be a singer but then I am too shy to actually post a video of myself singing. But anyway, it doesn't matter what I am doing but I know that I’d be changing the world.

For me, it is not bad to dream because its sort of a freedom. Why? Because no one tells you to be different, do you know what I mean? I feel like I am not making any sense at all.

Seeing that video documentary of Zoe and how she started was inspiring because she never gave up on her dreams and she has a book as well as a beauty line. The thing about me is when I enjoy doing something when I am into something I actually continue doing it but when I know something doesn't really like or enjoy what I am doing that's when I give up.

I give up on myself.

I give up on what I am doing.

I know that you can get to your dreams when you push yourself to the limit, especially if I know I enjoy doing something.

Anyway, dreams are meant to come true.

Believe in yourself.

I guess this blogspot is also my hope that I can be someone who can inspire everybody. I hope that I can inspire some of you to achieve your dreams. I know I am just a small blog but remember that if you love something hold on to it.

My dreams are worth fighting for, so are yours, darling. Fight for it because you’re a star. I am talking nonsense here but you know it’s true.

You have all the weapons here, use it. Now fight. – Dr. Gorski

I was watching Sucker Punch the other day, I was watching this particular scene where Dr. Gorski was telling Babydoll that line, I was tearing up a bit becayse it pushed me to do better in college as well as this blog writing thing. I have all the weapons that I need that I just need to use.

I have so much advice for you guys but my main advice for you is that line from Sucker Punch above.

Zoe Sugg is someone I look up to and I feel like she’s telling me this and that I am Babydoll, ya know? I just need the right push and Zoe has given me that push.

I leave you with this quote, darling.

“Be the change you want to be.”

All the love.

xxB

Struggles

Every single freaking day is a struggle.

Somehow I manage to survive, I wake up every day, I'm still breathing and my senses are still there. I am not a religious person but I consider myself blessed, I lost my faith in God when I started college because the very first day of college every mistake I have done back in high school came rushing back literally telling me that I won't get away from the things I have gone through during high school.

But this is college and I wasn't going to let it get to me and ruin the plan I had for myself while at college. 

It's a fresh for me.

A clean slate if you will.

I was a lot happier with myself when I gained friends on the very first day of class. I was happy because, the first time in a long time, I felt like the college me is a new me.

Midterms came and the stress was getting to the best of me and my new set of friends, I had 2 friends who I hung out with most of my time in school. One of them had a huge problem with the other one. In the end, we managed to say sorry to one another after opening up.

That was the climax of our friendship because when finals came, it all came crashing down. We had a problem involving my other friend, because the issue that my block and I had with her, was her arrogance. She was too self-centered, arrogant in sports, competitive as well and too bossy, but as her friend, I was just there for her.

For some reason, we decided to tell her and the next thing I know, the blame was on me. I called her a bitch because I thought that it meant nothing to her.

My friendship with these 2 girls went down the rabbit hole and it was the end for the three of us.

I didn't want to see them anymore so I became an irregular student all of my classes were in different block sections. This particular term, I met the block I am currently in. In this block, I think, I was given a chance to start over I was really really glad and happy, I still am.

I dont want to share my whole entire story with you but know this, Life can be shitty and in the near future, it still will be but accept it, move on and be happy.

Old friends can be replaced with new ones. These shitty moments of your life are put in your life for a reason.

Think about it, loves. 

Okay? 

All the love. 

xxB

Life is too short. Live it.

I have always wanted to do a blog about something that I am comfortable talking about but I'm always debating with myself on what topic it's going to be. Right now, as I am making this, I sort of know what I'm talking about.

There are 4 things that I love to talk about: sports (professional wrestling *WWE*, baseball and dancing), music, clothes and food. Everybody who knows me knows how big of a foodies I am. You'll literally find me holding a packet of crisps in handing munching away. They also know how big of a coffee lover I am, I just need coffee. At this convenient store next to the school that I go to, they sell iced coffee, I get one every morning when I am at school, I just love coffee, who doesn't? If you don't, well then, you're just absolutely crazy. 

I am heavily influenced by British and American culture and fashion. I love British things and it is a dream of mine to go to London. Back to the point, I like wearing clothes I know I'm comfortable wearing and I am known for wearing casual attire during Monday to Thursday. Before you freak out, the school I am going to, the school rules require the students to wear business attire from Monday to Thursday, I make my outfits as casual as possible with the hint of business.

For a girl like me and who is taking up Arts as their college course, you'll think that I'm only into Arts. No, you're wrong. I adore sports. Especially professional wrestling, baseball and dancing. I grew up watching WWE, I know that it's a violent sport and show but majority of the people I look up to are working for the company. I grew up looking up to John Cena. He's amazing in what he does and he never gives up. With baseball, I am not American but both my parents play the sport. At the beginning, I really didn't understand a single thing about baseball but there's this one guy who I owe everything to because he is the person who made me fall in love with baseball. I love to dance at home, I consider it my workout because when I stopped going to the gym I continued at home.

When it comes to music, my genres range from Alternative, Pop, Pop Rock, Indie and Country. I don't have a specific genre that I really really love. I enjoy music because it gives me peace and it makes me escape from reality. 

What about you guys? What makes you happy? 'Cause I know for certain that these I have mentioned make me happy.